#2 TECHNIQUES OF MASTURBATION BY YOURSELF
Masturbation is a joy. I am thoroughly convinced that God gave
people hands with fingers so that we could stroke ourselves in
pleasure and comfort.
Those men who've not discovered the satisfaction of jacking off, are
definitely missing something.
There is only one problem I can think of in masturbating, that
someone would think it was a bad thing to do, would feel guilty
during and after, or worse yet wouldn't do it altogether. The
suppression of pleasurable masturbation is one of the great ills of
our society, for masturbation is one of the basic functions of
existence; those who deny or ignore it do so at the risk of
increasing their own sense of frustration and grimness in the world.
Jacking off, besides feeling good serves many useful purposes. It
can be relaxing, reassuring, energising, encouraging, spontaneous
and charming. You can do it quick, slow, with hands, pillows, melons
and showers, in a bathroom, behind a bush or on the bus, dry or with
oils, while listening to music, looking at pictures, or imagining.
It is an anywhere, anytime convenience. And don't be afraid to
indulge. When your body's had enough, it'll say so.
One main trouble in masturbating is to not be embarrassed. You could
get caught! The best ways to overcome this inconvenience are to make
sure you'll have privacy, learn to do it quick, and/or learn to do
it in public without being found out. All of these are quite
I remember once I was at a picnic, and I was standing in a crowd. It
was so hot that many people had taken off their shoes and shirts.
Then I saw across from me such a beautiful boy that I almost had to
leave, I got so excited. Luckily, I was wearing my old baggy navy
pants, and the pockets were worn through. I slung my coat over my
right shoulder to hide my arm, and plunged my hand down my pocket,
walking into the crowd as close as I could get. I had a great time,
and I'm sure that not one of the hundreds of people around me
guessed a thing about it! (Note: for tricks of this sort, wear
tight-fitting underpants to catch the come, or learn to hold your
ejaculation inside when you come, so you don't make a sticky mess.)
Mechanically speaking, masturbation for males is friction against
the fraenum, or "whang-string," a small, string-like portion of the
penis just under the glans or "head" at the backside. The fraenum
has the highest concentration of sexsensual nerve endings in the
body. Many actions can stimulate this area; an object can rub
against the penis, the penis can move against something, or no
motion can happen at all. This last might easily happen, since
fantasy and mind stimulation play such a big role; wet dreams are a
good example of this. I have a friend who sometimes comes to orgasm
while meditating, after his yoga practice.
Although I'll restrict myself here to "jacking-off", using the hand,
be aware that with a little imagination and creativity other ways
can be found.
There are many things you can discover about yourself with your
hands. The hands are very sensitive to touch, and the penis is even
more so. Every person develops their own way of jacking off. If
you've ever had others do it to you, you discover that usually they
can't make the feelings quite as good as you can yourself. That's
because they're probably using their style on you, which fits for
them but isn't yours. Style involves such things as how the fingers
hold the penis, which fingers are used, how tight they are, how hard
they press, how much movement, use of the foreskin and how much
sensitivity towards drawing out the feelings. All these are
Some people like to wrap the whole hand around their penis and slide
it all the way up and down in long, luxurious strokes, using oils or
a flexible foreskin. Others like to place the thumb and two fingers
around the corona (that part of the penis just below the glans),
with one finger over the fraenum, and pump in short, quick movements
with the skin.
There is room for exploration and creativity in masturbation.
Fantasy plays a big part, and in your mind you can be loving someone
else or yourself. You can imagine your last sexual act, or an erotic
fantasy, or looking at pictures or a story. Fantasies are especially
intriguing; they are the images and events of your inner and secret
wishes. Even if they seem strange or something you wouldn't want
anyone to find out about that's OK who's going to know if you don't
Loving yourself through masturbation means caressing your own body,
holding it, making love to you, appreciating you/your experience as
hand and penis, body and mind. It's unique.
A MASTURBATION FANTASY
Let me take you on a fantasy; You'll need privacy and quiet, some
enjoyable music (something warm and not too loud), candles and oil
(olive oil, safflower oil, massage or love oil, baby/mineral oil,
Vaseline, KY or any clean lubricating substance are all good). It's
night time outside. First, light clothes and, lying down on the bed,
close your eyes. Take a deep, relaxing breath. Imagine that you are
a stranger meeting your body, that it's new to you, that you're
touching it for the first time. Start at the top of your head, and
explore yourself with your hands, as sensations you've never felt
before. Feel your hair, the shape of your head,then your face, your
ears. Glide your fingers over each part, trying to feel the shape,
the texture, as if you'd never felt them before. Notice the softness
of your eyelids, the sensitivity of your lips. Then caress your
throat, your shoulders and chest. Find a nipple, and flick a
fingertip over and around it, feeling it grow hard and excited.
Glide your palms over your stomach, pressing down on your soft
middle. Trace designs around your navel. Slowly let your hands press
lower. Discover how your pubic hair begins; how does it feel: Seek
out the lines where you legs join your stomach. Trace the line with
your fingertip down onto the groove between leg and crotch, until
you brush your testicles. Press your soft warm hands onto the
insides of your thighs. Stroke your thighs, feeling their
sensitivity, their shape, their thickness. Brush the hair lightly.
Then discover how your ass ends underneath. Then glide up under your
testicles, tracing a ring around them.
Hold them warmly in your hand, feeling each, then press them gently
against your body. Now discover the shape of your penis with one
fingertip. Trace a line around the base, then up the side to the
top. Lightly brush the side, the fraenum, the glans and tip. Wrap
one hand carefully around the whole penis, and squeeze gently. Pull
on it a little, then let it go. Find the fraenum with your
fingertip, and press there (You may have to pull down your
foreskin). Discover the most sensitive point, and brush your
fingertip rapidly just over that point. Press you finger there again
and massage the point gently and firmly. Then wrap your hand around
your penis and move it up and down. Now put some oil in the cup of
your hand, and caress your penis all over, rubbing and massaging the
oil evenly. Cradle your testicles in one hand, and wrap the other
around your penis. Slide you hand up and down all the way, feeling
the sensations. Explore until you develop a pleasing rhythm, and
sink into the warmth and pleasure. Go deeper and warmer, letting the
feelings grow stronger and spread. If you want to increase sensation
to stretch your foreskin, hold down the base of you penis with thumb
and forefinger of the other hand, pulling the skin tight. Keep
stroking yourself, pausing if you like to explore somewhere else.
Your sensations will become stronger in a growing cycle of tension
and relaxation. Discover your pattern and try to draw it out.
Explore the way(s) to climax, fast or slow, with long or short
strokes, pumping fast and rough, or gentle and calming until your
heat rises pouring out of you. Let yourself go, flow into it. Then
relax. Relax deeply, doing nothing, emptying your mind and body.
This fantasy can be done just as well in the tub or shower, using
soap instead of oil. An interesting variation is to do it in front
of a mirror. You can watch yourself, your hands and body, in new
ways. An exciting addition to masturbation can be using a finger to
caress your ass (called postillioning). While masturbating, simply
grease a finger (don't use soap) and press it at your anus-opening,
pushing firmly and gently to slide inside. You'll have to discover
how best to place your body to that reaching is easy; I suggest
bending your knees and bringing your feet to your rear, while lying
on your back, of even stretching your feet over your head. You can
also do this standing up.
Masturbation is an act of wholeness, of self creation and renewal,
whether it's a five-minute quickie or a half-hour journey. You can
become more you, more together and centred through deep and
satisfying masturbation. The moment of climax is a moment of
infinity, and under your control. Also, be aware of the limitations
of masturbation, the things it can't get you, like another person's
touching and love. Admitting your needs is the first step to
Surprisingly enough, masturbation, body image, and other kinds of
sex are all related. If you like and enjoy your body, it will show
in your masturbation. Poor opinion of your body is a good thing to
recognise and deal with. Just be aware; tune in on yourself; let
yourself be and then do what needs to be done. Once you sense a
problem here, it's good to talk it over with a friend or counsellor.
A sense of relaxation and intimacy with your body is akin to being
intimate with another, and he with you. If you don't want to be
sensual with your own crotch, how can you keep this from carrying
over? Be aware of yourself as the source of all your experiences,
ideas and feelings.
Also, masturbation is a favourite shared experience. Whether you're
jacking yourself off while he watches, or you him, or using
masturbation during fellatio (sucking) or anal intercourse
(fucking), it's a basic experience and action. Throughout this book,
masturbation will be mentioned again and again as a pleasurable
activity with other actions or by itself. It serves as a good
foundation for any kind of sexual and/or intimate sharing, with
others and with yourself.
It's good to respect jacking-off and be relaxed about it. Many
people find it their favourite sexual activity, either alone or with
others, but don't want to admit the fact for being thought
unsophisticated or immature. That's nonsense – no one is immature
for liking to jack off, or to prefer it over fucking. Masturbation
is entirely pleasurable and wholesome. Only boredom, unhappiness,
hard work and so on are dull things in bed. If you like to jack off
by yourself enjoy it. If you like to masturbate with your friend(s),
good for you. Make sure you let him know this, and take into account
his desires too.
I remember once when I was with someone I thought "sophisticated,"
and I thought I should be sucking and fucking, because it was the
"sophisticated" thing to do. But surprise of surprises when he
blurted out to me he really wanted to masturbate himself while I
cuddled his balls; he was even embarrassed about it! So I gave him a
big hug, and we wound up having a fine time together. He was a
ofya have any cool jackin stories to tell, let me know - Cody
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